that’s what I’m talkin’ about

Riding near Breitenbush. Culvert CX anyone?

After spending the last week at Breitenbush Hot Springs, teaching 14 eager students how to become better yoga teachers, I returned home exhausted and mentally fried. I know, I know… How can I complain? Hot springs were involved. And what lovely hot springs they were. Except that one time when there was a weird white floaty thing… Ick.

No, I came home exhausted because my days started at 6:30am and ended at 9pm, and I was ON pretty much the entire time. It was Epic Yoga. In fact, I may just change the name of these weeklong retreats to EPIC YOGA. How many hours can one woman sit in lotus posture and lecture, teach, and critique? Many, many hours it turns out. I figure if I can get through a ten-day vippassana retreat and sit this long in a teaching capacity, I can get back to the Deschutes Time Trial ‘festival’ in ‘09. And 18 of Fruita. Mmmm… Fruita.

During the couple hours break each day I managed two rides all week for a total of about two hours riding time. An all-time new low, methinks. Rode with one of the trainees, Ana who rides for the Ironclad team, and she and I helped indoctrinate another unsuspecting young woman into the art, the madness, the beauty of cyclocross. Laura, my fantastic masseuse friend is thinking about getting into cycling, and even more so, into cyclocross. I’ve hooked her up with a loaner bike, the old Lava Dome which I recently converted to single speed as my townie. I put a 34/17 on it for easy dirt pedaling. She ate it up. Not only that she already renamed the bike to her liking and henceforth it shall go by the name “The Green Lantern”. We did a simple little cross practice, showing Laura the basic skills which she aced. I expect her to be tearing it up with that classic mud-splattered grin plastered on her face next season. You know the one I mean.

Is it odd I get more sheer joy out of promoting bike racing and cycling to women than I do pushing yoga? Hmm. Maybe it’s because the bike racing–in any form–is so unexpected, so unfeminine, so… hard. Comparatively yoga is phenomenally easy. For women. Yes, there… I said it. A stereotype, perhaps, but true nonetheless. That ’s not to say men can’t do yoga. In fact, I think these stereotypes point to WHY men should do yoga… To become more flexible. Conversely it’s a good argument for why women should engage in sports (or cyclocross, heh). To become stronger. Personally I really enjoy and appreciate the differences between men and women. Keeps things interesting IMHO.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE EMBEDDED HERE: come to bike yoga, feel better, get flexible.

BIKE YOGA HAS BEGUN
I’ve started the classes at Seth Hosmer’s Health and Performance Chiropractic this week. Our first class on Monday night was well-attended. I feel confident as the word gets out and people begin to trust me as a teacher in this community it will grow quickly. Though on my post announcing the classes on Cross Crusade chat I neglected to delete my signature, which was a line from one of my favorite Poe songs: “You can’t talk to a psycho like a normal human being.” I’ve been riding to that album in town lately. It suits my urban riding sensibilities. It’s… gritty. So, just for the record it wasn’t a statement about anything relevant, although it does make a nice segue into mentioning…

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF YOGA
This weekend I teach a workshop on yoga psychology. I’m excited about it, except it means I’m working 4 weekends in a row again. Yoga psychology can be summed up very simply: Basically it proffers that we become conditioned to behave and think in certain ways and that most of our neurosis and psychological “problems” (depression, anxiety, etc) are simply conditioned patterns. The way out is through de-conditioning the mind and repatterning our mental processes. In other words, yoga (real yoga, not 24-hour fitness aerobics powerjazzeryoga) can make you more sane. I know many people would argue it hasn’t done that for me, so how would I know? To you people I say: You didn’t know me before yoga. Sanity is a relative thing. Ahem.

(…can’t talk to a psycho like a normal human being)

SSCXWCOMGWTF

I missed all the SSCXWC glory. For most people this is so ancient history, yawn, it’s hardly worth posting about again. But I was locked in a dark cabin in the woods for a week with no phone, no computer, no beer. It wasn’t pretty at times. But back to the race:

Local badass heroine Sue Butler took the women’s race and is already sporting her World Championship tattoo. And Portland (and the nation’s best) got spanked by Drew MacKenzie–a Canuck! My good riding buddies and quasi-neo teammates Yakima tore that scene up with their windmill and foam pit. Kudos and mad mad props, boys. I’m so bummed I could not participate

The day before the race, I took a break from packing for Breitenbush and stopped in at Lucky Lab to get a pint and a bite, and found D-bag VanWeelden to get the low-down on the show-down planned for Sunday’s race. As I was walking across the room I see a flash of orange out of the corner of my eye and the next thing I know Stevil Kinevil, author of HTATBL, is standing right before me, introducing himself. Dude recognized me from the blog. Okay, it’s not like meeting Obama or say, Donnie Osmond, but it was flattering nonetheless. I mean, if you’re a fan of the blog medium, and one of your blogging superheros walks up IN COSTUME… You’d have been like OMG OMG OMG too. You’d have squealed just like a little girl with a new pony on Christmas Day. Or like a grown woman with rubber boots that have little pink unicorns on them.

In honor of The Stevil Incident, and in the spirit of poaching (which I’m told is the way to ride your mountain bike in winter around here) I bring you this, proudly swiped from How to Avoid the Bummer Life.

Happy humpday.

Janky Say: Amen Dude

You’ve probably heard we elected greatness to the White House again. Just the notion that we have a President Elect who can speak in complete sentences and isn’t such a tool makes me positively giddy. Add the fact that he’s an incredibly powerful man, inspiring hundreds of thousands of people who have never voted to get off their apathetic asses and participate is amazing. He’s not *just* a black president, he’s the United States’ president and a world leader.

I’m so grateful that the process worked this time. I can stop singing this infernal song as a message to the Bush Administration. And I no longer have to keep looking for a Canadian husband just in case. The phone calls to Ontario were getting out of hand.

. . . . .

Zilly Rosen of ZILLYCAKES in Buffalo, NY, builds a likeness of President Elect Barack Obama using 1240 cupcakes.

People are celebrating the sweetness of victory in all kinds of ways. Oh yes! Blue is no longer relegated to the sad and lonely status of infertility or depression. NO! Blue is the new pink! The color of elation. The color of hope. The color of capability. Blue is the color of sweetness.

And the hits just keep coming: Just a few years ago George Bush’s administration actually reclassified frozen french fries as a bonafide “serving of vegetables”. This was before the boneheaded declaration to rename them “freedom fries”. I still find that fact an apt emblem of the level of retardation this administration has wrought upon our culture, our society, our collective. I love fries, don’t get me wrong, though I prefer Belgian to French. And now (drum roll, please) in another fitting food metaphor, this just in: Bacon Crushes Fries in Colorado.

Sweet. To celebrate I’m making a special pre-ride breakfast this Saturday: Belgian waffles, French fries and BLUE bacon! Who’s hungry?

. . . . .

BACK IN CHURCH OF BIKE: The definitive text of classical yoga instruction known as the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali are a collection of terse aphorisms that describe what yoga (as the repatterning of habitual thinking to experience consciousness itself, beyond habitual, discursive thought), how it’s practiced (all the time, self-inquiry, discipline, focus, meditation, etc) and what to expect (SUPERPOWERS! or at the very least a sense of unity/oneness/integration and a calm, clear head).

It’s dry reading, but useful. Studying it is a practice in itself. And so I’ve been slowly working on my own Yoga Sutras… They are called the Bike Sutras of Velo Devi. It’s a fun little project. What I like about working on it is this: Before Patanjali came along yoga was a practice that was limited to priests, young boys who would become Brahman priests, and royalty. Women and the Indian equivalent of Joe-the-Plumber weren’t permitted until this cultural shift happened, for which Patanjali was largely responsible, if not its seminal instigator.

Now, I’m not saying I’m the next great cultural instigator. But women’s cycling is something that needs constant support. Women need constant support. It’s not that we’re not capable creatures. We are. Quite. But we still bear the lion’s share of family responsibility and most of us hold jobs that require as much time and energy as our male partners and counterparts, and still for only 80 cents on the dollar. I have done a bit of instigating here and there–inspiring some, annoying others–over the past few years trying to get women’s racing a little more robust. Numbers are up. I can’t take credit, but I feel lucky I have the luxury of time to support the things that I feel passionate about. And yeah, I do this stuff because it’s fun and I’m a thrill seeking pleasure junkie. But I also do it because there is nothing more rewarding to me than to see people challenge their perceived limitations–usually in the mind, as Patanjali taught–and grow.

. . . . .

www.fruitamountainbike.com

So, next year: Mountain biking advocacy. Mountain biking is so much more fun with friends. It’s hard. Harder than road racing in many ways, but also way more enjoyable. Church of Bike is, well… It’s lovely. It’s like…. Somatic prayer. I mean, whatever helps you feel happy to be alive, right? So yeah, next year mountain bike focus. I figure if an old girl like me can start riding again, pretty much anyone can. I’ve been planning for the Fat Tire Festival in Fruita in April, and the 18 Hour race that follows. Sadly, It’s right around the time of 24 Spokane. I’ll have to pick my poison, I guess. Spokane is supposed to be “my” kind of course. But Fruita, well… You know how I feel about Fruita.

Honestly, I just love riding my mountain bike more than just about anything! And Janky insists that the mountain bike geometry and position are what works best for her. And when Janky talks, Uma listens.

Lately Janky’s been talking about a hardtail 29er mountain bike setup as a singlespeed cross machine.
I think I better start passing the collection plate. Church of Bike requires a Titus tithing.

Titus Fireline 29er Titanium

Can you say “swap-out dropout”?

Amen, dude… Amen.

mud, gravel, bones, plastic rocks and gratitude

Just wasn’t feeling the love this weekend, so I chose to sit out on Barton CX race. Glad I did, too, as the carnage was unbelievable. Way too many nasty crashes. Several busted collarbones including Kenji-san, esteemed director of all of OBRAland, a cracked jaw, some split faces and a few popped ribs. Yakima racer DC not only busted his clavicle but to add insult to injury (and injury to injury) also got gravel rash in his *** crack. Yup. I think the other Yakibrahs made out fairly well. Joebama actually smiled. Dylan shaved his furry face. It turns out he does have a rather masculine jaw. Who knew?

Just to give you a sense of the wreckage.

And this one is very enjoyable too.

While everyone was going down, I was moving on up, choosing to schralp the gnarly plastic rocks at PRG. Starting to get into the rhythm now, and I love feeling my arms start to get stronger. Climbed with the über competitive and lovely Anita Dilles this afternoon and did about 5 pitches… Funny thing was I really didn’t feel my arms getting pumped or fatigued until the last climb, which is a good sign. It means I’m using my legs and my technique has improved even with sporadic practice. The shoulder is still a problem, but only certain positions. It’s evolving. I like to think it’s healing.

Getting ready to be gone at Breitenbush for a week again. This time I’ll be teaching teachers (the pressure is on). I expect to get a couple more climbs in before I leave, maybe a dirt ride on Saturday out at Syncline if it’s not horribly wet. One more Crusade race on my calendar if Janky gives the green light.

Got to enjoy the election fray at Green Dragon with Josh and Hillary. The place went mad, as most places did I’d imagine. All day today I felt both elated and this strange overwhelming sense of fatigue. I can only imagine it’s the wave of relief of letting go of so much anxiety around this election. I don’t think I’ve breathed right since the LAST election.

Thank you, people.